Understanding Mindfulness and a Way to Practice Right Now

What is Mindfulness?

There have been many definitions of mindfulness and often it is used as a way to practice staying present. But, what does it really mean?

Simply put, mindfulness is non-judgmentally being in the present moment.

To understand it better, I like to think of mindfulness as having two different parts. One part is concentration and one part is acceptance.

Concentration

Mindfulness is being aware of what is happening in the present moment. Meditation teachers call your anxious mind a “monkey mind” because it bounces all over the place, screeches, and basically does whatever it wants. You practice calming the monkey mind and practice focus with mindfulness. Whatever you may be doing in a particular moment, concentrate on it and really put all your attention on it. For example, if you are playing with your pet, having a conversation, vacuuming your house, or going for a walk, really focus on doing that thing. When thoughts of other things come up in your head, simply go back to the present moment.

It takes some time and practice but you begin to have less “monkey mind” and more enjoyment and less anxiety in the present moment.

Acceptance

The second part of mindfulness is acceptance. This part is important, and sometimes forgotten when being taught mindfulness. You pay attention to whatever you are doing but in a non-judgmental way. You aren’t necessarily looking to change your thoughts as you have them. You are looking to accept them. For example, if I was practicing mindfulness and thoughts of anxiety kept creeping into my head such as, “what if I do this wrong?” “how will I even know I am doing it right?” “what if I never get better?” I would simply accept that I have these anxious thoughts and get back to practicing concentration on whatever it was I was doing.

I do not label these thoughts as “good or bad” but simply anxious thoughts. I then get back to what I was doing. I accept they are there without following them or judging them as right or wrong, good or bad.

Think of all the experiences and all of the events that led you to who you are now. Think of it like a basket full of apples. One apple is an incident from your past, one apple is a worry about the future. Pretty soon your basket it full to the brim of apples. This is like anxiety and depression. We are weighed down by so many apples being in our basket. It becomes hard to think straight, make good decisions for ourselves, or be in relationships when we feel so overwhelmed by apples of the past and future. Mindfulness is like having only a few apples in our basket. When we focus on the here and now, we don’t let the apples of the past or future burden us. Our basket becomes lighter and we are able to focus on what is happening now. In that way, we can better manage painful emotions. If I am so overwhelmed by the past and future apples, any little apple added to my basket, or any little problem added to my life will feel so overwhelming. It may just be that tiny little apple that causes the whole basket to spill! But when you focus on the present you can understand and look logically and holistically at each problem or challenge that comes up and decide how you want to handle it, versus it handling you. It promotes self-regulation, self-control, and self-awareness. We aren’t lost in the past or future but living right now.

Benefits of Mindfulness

Relaxation and Enjoying Life

Although relaxation may be one of the side effects of mindfulness, it isn’t intended as a relaxation exercise in and of itself. When you begin to not chase after thoughts from the past or present or judge yourself for thinking them, your begin to enjoy life more and relax within the present moment. When you are actually fully paying attention to life’s activities you find that you can enjoy them more.

Self-Regulation

When you aren't lost in your thoughts you can better regulate how you feel right now. When you think about "what-if" or regret, you aren't focusing much needed attention on yourself and what you need to do in this moment. You may allow yourself to get caught up in the moment and not problem solve or make a decision you know you could or should have made. Practicing mindfulness lets you take control back over your life and decisions.

Emotion Regulation

When you have anxiety you are usually future thinking and when you have depression you are usually past thinking. Both of those places can be uncomfortable and dark. They can become heavy and unmanageable (think about the basket of apples!). When practicing mindfulness we realize when a temporary emotion comes up such as anxious thoughts, we don't need to follow it and we don't need to judge ourselves for having it. We simply acknowledge it, see it, and then move back to what we were doing before.

Improved Memory and Improved Concentration

Like most things, your mind needs to be exercised in healthy patterns for it to grow stronger. It may be used to thinking in certain ways that are not healthy. Mindfulness helps work out the "muscles" in your brain involved with higher level thinking and awareness. For example, have you ever read parts of a book and then realized you have no idea what it was you were reading? Your mind was probably wandering and you were not able to absorb the concepts in the book. This is like every day life. If you aren't paying attention to your life because your mind is wandering, then the focus, memory, and concentration parts of your brain aren't as strong as they could be. Mindfulness helps work these "muscles" so they can become stronger.

Practice

The practice of mindfulness looks a little bit different for everyone. When I work with a client who is interested in learning more about mindfulness, I take into account their life and their personality and personalize the experience for them. Having a teacher or guide can be extremely helpful when getting started. You may have triggers that can make just starting a practice difficult. Mindfulness is a skill and like any skill it needs to be practiced. In addition, there are formal and informal practices. I typically start with informal practices which involve counting the breath for a specified amount of time. This can range anywhere from 10 seconds to one minute depending upon where they are at in their life. Formal practices involve some sort of routine in which you may be noticing more than just your breath in a given moment. These are wonderful practices, but take some time to work up to.

Try a Mindfulness Exercise

Set a timer on your phone for as long as you would like to practice. This can be one minute or 30, whatever you would like to start with. Once you’ve set your timer You can close your eyes or keep them open, whatever feels comfortable to you. Take one or two deep breaths. Relax your shoulders and face. Try to release any tension you may have. As you breathe in say “one” in your head. As you breathe out say “two” and continue with each inhalation and exhalation. Do not try and exaggerate your breathing . Simply breathe as you normally would. Once you get to 10, start again with one. When your mind wants to start wandering about something else and you’ve stopped counting, simply notice this has happened, and without judgement, bring your focus back to your breathing. Continue until your timer goes off. Notice how you feel. Feel free to journal these thoughts or simply notice them and move on with your day. You will be strengthening your self-regulation muscles!

There are so many wonderful resources for learning more about mindfulness. I recommend trying to find a local mindfulness or meditation group to start or taking a look at some resources here and here.

I hope this article has helped explain some of the key concepts of mindfulness. Please keep in mind this article is not intended as professional therapy or clinical advice. If you need help with a mental health issue you are facing, please contact a licensed mental health clinician.

I wish you well.

-Dr. Zaleski

Dr. Katrina Zaleski is a licensed clinical psychologist providing therapy in the state of California. One of her specialties is working with those looking for help with depression, anxiety, and mindfulness. Learn more about Dr. Zaleski’s services for Depression Counseling and Anxiety Counseling.